Well, even before the first has been written there’s been a big shakeup in the Q&RCIPTTAOAG world. Rather than subscribing to the godless capitalist standards of single question single answer we here at Q&RCIPTTAOAG Headquarters (Q&RCIPTTAOAGHQ for short) have decided to do a ‘dual core’ strip. Each question will be answered by not one, not 12, but 2, thats right 2 confabulators, one of them being myself, and one of them being the incredibly talented and multilimbed Josh (zornog) also known as the creator of the Confab Theme Song. Before out first real column (2 to 3 questions) is released I thought we’d offer you guys a ‘trailer’ of the dual answer action that will be ‘all up in’ this column.

Will you go out w/ me? [yes] or [no] -Stippy

Aaron: In the spirit of Nick Hornby’s High Fidelity, I compiled a list of top 10 reasons why I will not go out with you

10) I like long walks and sci-fi movies, your 6 foot tall and east coast bred.

9) You come from parents wanton

8) When I tried to talk about Billy Holiday, you said you liked his music a lot

7) Let’s face it, you use an aimbot, and sometimes you speed hack

6) We were talking last week about the new horror movie Hostel, and when I mentioned that it takes a turn for the bloody you said “oh, so I guess it became a pretty hostile environment”……..WHO LIKES PUNS?! NOBODY, THAT’S WHO

5) You got all uppity when I lit your car on fire trying to emulate the mythbusters

4) You got all uppity when I lit your house on fire trying to emulate the mythbusters

3) You got all uppity that one time I was trying to emulate the myth busters and the cat got in the way and now he’s frozen in carbonite.

2) you do not seem to share my passion for the myth busters

1) When I googled this question, the first response I got was the Franz Ferdinand site. I don’t like Franz Ferdinand, so no, I will not go out with you.

Google Search of “Will You Go Out With Me”

Josh: You know what? Yes. I will go out with you. I was at first reluctant; in fact, I wanted to construct a third option, “maybe,” which I would then check. And then not return your phone calls. But after some careful thinking about the subject, I’ve decided that I will go out with you. So, where do you want to go? There’s this great Chinese place down the street, I hear it’s marvelous. We could have some moo goo gai pan or some shit. I dunno, it’s Chinese, I don’t understand it. Maybe we could see a movie. I hear that Brokeback Mountain’s good, and boy do I love a good western!

You know, maybe I’m taking this a bit too far too soon, but do you kiss on the first date? I do. I kiss before the first date. I’m trying to kiss you now, in fact, but this computer monitor is making things difficult.

Do you want to get married? I’ve always wanted to get married. In a big cathedral with lots of stained glass windows and big wooden doors and pews that smell like Pine Sol. We could get married and then have lots of little beautiful babies, all named Jack (Jackie for the girls). We’ll buy a farm somewhere in the country, raise goats, you know, fun stuff like that. And we’ll grow old together, until our favorite activity is rocking back and forth in our rocking chairs out on the patio, telling the newspaper boy to stop wearing his damn jeans so damn low.

And then we’ll die, and we’ll go to heaven, where we’ll find our long lost pets, Tabby and Metheuselah, and we’ll be safe and happy and live with each other forever!

Pick you up at 7ish?

Cheers, ♥Josh